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What do you want?

September is month of prayer and fasting for our congregation in Nashville. It’s been one of learning for me. In addition to some days without food, I dedicated myself to journaling daily.

It’s been really good.

Additionally, I continued working with Rich Munguia throughout this month, and his business experience has taught me a lot- that’s led me to journal more and come to some decisions.

So, here are the things I’ve been learning and planning. If you pray, I would love prayers about the following. If you’re in the middle of building something yourself, please let me know what I can pray about for you! I still feel like I’m at the start of my journey, but I can relate that it’s not easy. And if you don’t see yourself as a creative or entrepreneur, I hope something in here is still helpful to you or at least that these tidbits shed some light on what your creative friends may be enduring in this somewhat-but-not-really-post-pandemic-craziness!

I actually do know what I want.

The question, “what do you want”? has always been the hardest one for me to answer. Can anyone relate? In looking back on previous journals these last two weeks, I discovered I had written out two years ago at least some of what I wanted:

  • A basic income that will give me freedom to support causes/projects/ministries I care about, pay for further training, and have extra for whatever comes up

  • A sense of adventure in types of jobs and places- Bring on the travel! (And TJ comes, too.)

  • Healthy relationships with friends in the industry or in related fields- collaborators I get to make awesome stuff with- and with all of you, or to use the popular term, the “tribe”

  • For my work to have a positive impact in and outside of the church and for the poor, helping others to see God’s love more clearly- and ultimately, for people to come to me to ask for my work. (I know I have A LOT of hard work to do till I get to that point.)

  • And all of this to be done without joining into the “hustle till you die” mentality. No thanks. I want to live joyfully and expansively, sleep well, and keep a day a week for rest.

In examining these, I’ve found some themes that *light bulb* I’ve found to be my core values…Faith, Creativity, Relationships, Service and Adventure.

Why are these helpful to know?

There are millions of opportunities out there- lots of things to audition for, so many possibilities of shows to write or potential collabs to hop into, but if they don’t check these boxes, then I’m not going to be very fulfilled doing them.

I think this is what I discovered on two different occasions after my stints at teaching middle school theatre. Relationships? Check. Faith? Sure. There were many prayers for help and lessons in humility while teaching. Creativity? Yep. Service? Well, kinda. You could make a way. Adventure? Nope. Day in day out with kiddos I just decided I didn’t want. Send them to me at camps and short workshops or for personal lessons, but not the school system.

What are your core values?

There are tons of quizzes you can find online to help you- though I can't seem to find the one I used. I still tweaked my answers after journaling, but you may find starting with a quiz helpful.

And now I'll turn the question to you...

What do you want?

Jesus said those who ask persistently, according to his will, in his name, with belief, will receive (Mt. 7:8, Lk. 11:9. Jn 16:24, Mk. 11:24 to start)

Why am I shy to ask for the things that I know God also desires? Maybe I just think I'm not "good enough" to receive those things. Maybe I've written them off as unlikely. Maybe I can just hardly wrap my brain around what life would look and feel like if God said yes to all of them. But, God is abundant and wants some of the things I do. Service to the poor- yes. Enjoying his creation and the people he’s made around the world- yes. Building up and encouraging his church with the gifts he’s given me- yes. Of course, he may answer in very different ways than what I expect or than what I want- but he wants me to ask.

You don’t have because you don’t ask, and welp…that is my present reality. (Js. 4:2)

So, I’m deciding to do more asking of God and of people for help (in general), for connecting, for show bookings, for collaborations, etc…

Please feel free to ASK me how it’s going if you like- I’d appreciate the extra reminders!

If there’s anything I can pray about for you, please send it on- I’d love to know, and we can partner together in the asking.

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