I've been enjoying Songland lately during free time, and I definitely recommend it for you creatives out there! Yesterday, I watched an extra episode because I found out my school had to cut many part-timers, and all that curriculum I was working on, I wouldn't have to tackle anymore. (Definitely not sad about that part.)
Even though I'm grateful to not be looking at a fall where I'm driving an hour there and back- I am sad that I'll miss teaching the students next year. (I had to take a pause to recognize that.) So, I thought, why not write a song? I haven't tried in a while and I'm rusty. Not to mention after Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd's tragedies in such quick succession, I need to get out some feelings about all this civil unrest swirling beneath the surface.
Here's my attempt at a song that expresses my desire to do something in the midst of hurting people, while feeling safe myself. It's not 100% autobiographical - for instance, I'm not guilt-ridden - but the feelings are at least ones that I've been journeying through over the past several years. I hope they speak to you in some way, and as music comes along for it, (and I get some legit songwriter friends to help) I'll be sure to share. :) I'd be thrilled if it has a bit of a Julia Michaels vibe.
Closer than six feet
I lost my job;
Trump money’s out.
Pocket’s empty now.
But that’s not why I'm cryin.
Oh God, why am I crying?
Haven’t missed a meal...yet
Haven’t lost anybody of my own yet.
So am I three degrees of separation
Away from the right to grieve
If my heart’s been staying more apart than just six feet?
What do I do with this sadness?
How do I process this badness?
I have to believe I'm purposed
To do something with this.
Yeah, I’m guilt ridden cause I've been living
In privilege and supremacy.
The world keeps turning on the backs of the hurting
While we clamor for prosperity.
“Essential” means masked potential-
heroes don’t have much choice.
Would they still pay the cost for the lives lost
If we listened to their voice?
If we cared would health wear
Societal discrepancies?
Gotta live with my heart closer than just six feet.
I want to live with my heart closer than just six feet.
What do I do with this sadness?
How do I process this badness?
I have to believe I'm purposed
To do something with this.
I know it’s not my fault -
The years of hate, police assaults.
The game’s been rigged, so I've learned,
But rules can change, and it’s our turn.
Everybody's got their grief -
Stuck in cycles praying for relief.
If not to love, then why did he make me?
God, take this heart closer than just six feet.
God take this heart closer than just six feet.
I know it’s not my fault -
The years of hate, police assaults.
The game’s been rigged for way too long,
But I've got a space and I've got a song,
And if you’ve got ears, then sing along -
What do we do with this sadness?
How do we process this badness?
We have to believe we’re purposed
To do something with this.
What do we do with this sadness?
How do we process this badness?
We have to believe we’re purposed
(Optional tag endings in fade)
To make something of this
To help someone through this
To find some forgiveness
To love when it's senseless
To do something with this.
God, take our hearts closer than just six feet.